Forever Is Not Forever.
Say I Love You.
Waiting for a new liver has been an incredible journey of amazing highs and truly deep lows. It has taught me countless things about myself. I feel truer to who I am and loving who I am.
One of the biggest things I have learnt is how close to my heart I hold my family and friends. I often find myself lost in thought thinking about the memories I’ve shared with the people in my life and how special each one of these individuals are.
I know that when the day my surgery arrives I will be scared, nervous, excited, sad and happy. They’re emotions I’m prepared to go through because of how daunting this all is. The thought of death lingers in the back of my mind, but the power of hope that I hold onto is even stronger than that fear.
I understand that we all lead very different lives and the way in which I treat people is something that I want to be remembered for. I want people to feel happier and lighter after spending time with me. I enjoy doing special things or going out of my way for those I care about because it makes me happy to see them happy, to see them smile.
I love deeply. I’m not scared to say ‘I love you’. I thank my family for that. We say it to one another after every phone call, after every text message conversation. I say it to my friends, whether they say it back or not. I want the people that have a special place in my heart to know that I love them.
Yes, our journeys are all very different. We can listen to sympathise and empathise with one another, but we will never truly know what someone else’s life is like and how they feel and see the world. We may get glimpses of it all through the way they live and treat us.
Remember to tell the people you care about that you love them. That you care and appreciate them. Everyone deserves to feel seen and heard in this world.
It’s the small and simple things in life that make me truly happy. Like curling up on the couch watching a movie, listening to people talk about who they are, and the things they are passionate about. Those deep meaningful conversations where people let their guard down to share their true thoughts and ideas. Video calls or phone calls with family and friends. Counting the stars in the sky through the glistening of the city lights at night from my balcony. Watching the sunset and sunrise. Going for evening drives singing along to the music blaring in my car. Laughing with those who matter to me. Being hugged or held by someone I love, and hugging someone when they’re in need of a hug. Smiling at strangers, being friendly and kind to people I interact with at the grocery store. And sweet cups of tea. Enjoying the simple things, and making others smile is something I will always value in this lifetime.
We all have an expiration date. We’re not built to live forever. So live now, enjoy the now, and tell the people that you care about that you love them.